Instead, say: “Please let me know if you have any questions.” Instead, say: “What are your thoughts on…?” or “I’m writing to see if …?” Instead, try: “Thank you for your time / consideration / attention.” (Or simply omit this and get straight to your request.) They also recommended what to say instead: Our trio of experts - which also included women’s leadership coach Sally Helgeson (opens in new tab) - universally agreed that the following phrases are usually passive when used in emails. "I would say the ‘litmus test’ of whether language is ‘too passive’ or simply polite is whether the language is part of a larger effort to minimize one’s presence, voice and power relative to. “… I would say the ‘litmus test’ of whether language is ‘too passive’ or simply polite is whether the language is part of a larger effort to minimize one’s presence, voice and power relative to. “Carrying oneself with the same amount of power and dignity as another person is not the same as being rude or impolite,” she said. There’s no need to put yourself down, not even subtly through typed words. If you struggle with using passive language in your emails, you shouldn’t be afraid to start writing with a more direct tone, said Cynthia Pong (opens in new tab), a career coach who works mostly with women of color. Kissing up to them by being overly solicitous in order to impress them, please them or ingratiate yourself to them is passive.” For example, wanting to be respectful of someone’s time is polite. “… I believe we can discern the difference by noting the need to please at all costs that is at the core of phrases that are passive in nature. “The intention behind a phrase is what determines whether it is ‘too passive’ or just ‘polite,’” said executive coach Eleni Kelakos (opens in new tab). Their opinions were similar: Whether a phrase is “polite” or “passive” depends on the reason you’re using it. passive” debate, we asked a handful of experts to weigh in. Would it be possible to do thing you said you’d do? However, many of us who use these words sense that we’re being passive in a way that doesn’t allow us to flex our leadership muscles in their full range of motion.Īn air of passivity is especially apparent when you see all of these phrases lined up together: Some might say that using phrases like the above constitutes being polite - to a venture capital partner, to a supplier you hope to work with or to a bigwig you want to bring onto your board (opens in new tab). ♀️) This can come into play especially often when sending cold emails (opens in new tab) as a founder. While receiving such a note might irk the receiver, it’s often more annoying to the sender, who recognizes they’re using submissive wording but just can’t seem to stop. ![]() Most of us business folk are familiar with emails that are extremely deferential in language, like the one above. Resellers, Accountants, Outsourcers & Consultants
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